So there I was, depositing a cheque at my bank, Santander. Yet again, the ATM was out of envelopes. Yet again, there were no envelopes above or near the machine. Yet again, I had to interrupt my transactions (I also needed cash, from a different account) to find an envelope.
This bank likes to keep things complicated. They have different envelopes for different types of deposits. These envelopes are never all in the same place; usually there is only one sort on display – chosen, I imagine, at random according to the mood of whoever’s task it is that day. On one of their bad days, there are no envelopes. There is also almost always no one to ask – unless you want to stand in the queueueueueueueu for half an hour for the privilege.
So this I did. When a bank employee walked past I asked her who I could tell about the issue, hoping she might be able to put it into action. No. Not her job. Just tell one of the tellers. She did liberate me from the queueueueueueu saying I could bob in and ask as one customer moved away. So I hung around, wasting yet more of my life on an inefficient corporate.
Surprise! A staff member emerged from a door behind the tellers! Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. She heard on my fourth attempt. I explained the predicament. Did she help? Did she understand? Course not. “Just use a different ATM,” she said.
Any good business anxious to keep customers would have looked at this from the customer’s point of view: starting with an apology and following with some action. Not Santander. Well, it wasn’t good enough for me. “But that means that every customer has to interrupt what they are doing to move to another ATM. Perhaps you could put some envelopes above the ATM?” Oh! She seemed surprised with this simple, logical idea. Whether and when she acted on it – who knows. I wasn’t hanging around. I picked up the only envelope I could find (proudly stating that it was not to be used for the sort of transaction I was making) and hoped it would cause havoc with whoever empties the machine.
What should the bank have done? If I’d wanted to help this ghastly customer-hating bank, I’d have recommended putting a notice on the machine so customers could know in advance that what ought to be an easy transaction would be a hassle. Yet again.
Service NOT Included 